


A Symmetry

by LRMatthews



Category: Death Note
Genre: Angst, Chain arc, L is a bastard, M/M, Non-Kira Light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-09
Updated: 2014-04-09
Packaged: 2018-01-18 17:25:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1436605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LRMatthews/pseuds/LRMatthews
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>L has a proposition for Light. Dedicated to MiaoShou.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Symmetry

“Don’t misunderstand me, Light – I don’t want you to keep, I just want you for now.”

The sheets ruffle as he shifts and leans back on his hands, his sleeve dipping, white on white on white.

“I should think the arrangement would be agreeable to both of us.”

His lips, those pale full curves of flesh, are twisted into a tiny smile. It’s not a pleasant expression, particularly when combined with the way his head is cocked over his shoulder. He looks almost … cruel.

“After all, we could be together this way for quite some time. Tension in such a situation is natural, I think.”

If he ever played poker, his feet would surely be his tell. The way the toes constantly twitch and worry when he’s thinking, deducing, strategizing. Or lying. His feet are perfectly still now.

“And if we want things to progress smoothly, that tension needs to be released from time to time.”

Those nearly-black eyes are glittering, more telling than any expression he might ever make. He’s doing this purposely. Because he knows, he knows what’s running through Light’s head and through his heart. And he knows what Light’s response will be, even if Light pretends to think about it, even if Light _does_ actually think about it. He’s probably hoping to learn more through this, delve deeper. Light could’ve told him there’s nothing more to learn, it’s all there. Well, he _has_ told him. He just doesn’t believe it.

“We’re intelligent people and I’m sure we can handle this in a reasonable fashion. So what do you say? Would you like to try?”

There are ninety-six links between them. Ninety-six perfectly-shaped, unbreakable rings of metal. Light’s never actually counted them, but he knows how long the chain is, knows how large the links are; he did the math. There was really no need for the restraint. Light would have stayed, no matter what. But it’s what _he_ had wanted, what he needed, Light had thought, for reassurance. Now he’s not so sure.

Ninety-six. Like the beads of a rosary, Light has a prayer, a wish for each one. That one day he’ll look at him and really _see_ Light for what he _is_ , not what he thinks or hopes Light is. That he’ll _listen_ to what Light is telling him and maybe speak the truth himself. And that someday he’ll understand, really and truly understand the way Light feels and perhaps treasure it the way that Light does. Even if, sometimes, he wishes he didn’t.

So, though Light knows he’ll probably only end up hurt, his answer will be the only thing it could have ever been, which is exactly what _he_ has planned.

“Alright,” Light answers quietly and those lips curve a little wider, the eyes shining with unsurprised triumph and calculation. He sits up and offers a hand and Light takes it, letting himself be drawn to the bed. He says nothing as he is softly pushed onto his back and covered by a lean body. A shudder moves through him – part of it is a purely physical reaction. After all, he’s been secretly dreaming of this for longer than he cares to think about. The other part is because this is not _at all_ what he dreamt of, not this way. He feels as though he has made a deal with a devil.

Those lips he’s been staring at when he thinks he won’t be seen lower to his, hesitantly for a moment but then with a firm confidence. Is it worth it? Light wonders as the lips slowly coax his mouth open and his arms automatically raise, his hands seeking soft, wild tresses to bury his fingers in, a back to explore and clutch, pressing close. He wants a heart, not just a body. Maybe, though … maybe someday it will be enough.

Light has ninety-six little wishes, hopes. That each and every link, each and every kiss will bring him one step closer to the heart so carefully locked away behind dark, all-seeing eyes, façades of defensiveness, lies and manipulations. If this is the only chance Light has, to be wanted, to be kept … he’ll do whatever it takes.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written Nov. 2008


End file.
